What Empathy Is and What It Is Not

I went hiking with a friend a few weeks ago and learned a lot about empathy. I learned a lot about it from myself, who was not being very empathetic. My friend was sharing a really hard thing with me and I kept chiming in with examples from my own life. Something deep down inside…

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Who to Share Your Dreams With and When

I’m learning that I can’t tell everyone everything. For a long time, my habit has been to gather opinions from everyone around me when I’m making a decision or going through a difficult time and need some guidance. I remember when I started dating a guy a few weeks before Valentine’s Day. As February 14…

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He’s Not the One Who Got Away

This phrase has been running around my head lately: He’s not the one who got away. Did you catch that “not” I slid in there? I thought about it one night when I was cooking and listening to the Civil Wars. Their song “The One that Got Away” came on and got me thinking. The song…

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The Two Choices You Have Today

I recently returned from ten days in Peru on a mission trip with the student ministry at my church. Every day was different: street evangelism, building a house, playing with kids in the local community, encouraging the church there. We slept on the floor. We took cold showers. We stayed up too late. On mission…

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Are You Overthinking It? The Dangers of Introspection

I’ve written about this tendency of mine before—to daydream, to overthink, to create scenarios in my head and then have a difficult time returning to reality. I’m one of those people who’s been journaling since age eight and will disappear from time to time to sit on a beach, climb a tree or ride a…

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'The Waves and Wind Still Know His Name'

If you’re not familiar with the Bethel version of “It Is Well With My Soul,” get familiar with it now. This song played in my head all weekend. My little sister chose it as part of the music played in her wedding ceremony, and I melted as I heard the band rehearse it at the…

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When We Let Friends Go

I spent this weekend wandering around a city where my good friend lives. I didn’t see him while I was there though. I actually haven’t spoken to him in a few years. We’ve lost touch and reaching out at this point would have felt strange. I was there for a music festival with another friend…

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The Risk of Getting to Know People

I think I’m getting worse at knowing people. What I mean is, I used to be able to ask new acquaintances endless questions about themselves. This is because I have good parents who are good at asking people questions, so I learned this from them. I’m still more of an asker and listener than a…

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Why Life Is Not a Paint-by-Number

Still, well into adulthood, I find myself just wanting to fit in. It’s not in the same way as it was in high school of course. I’m not hoping to be invited to the right party or pretending to smoke a cigarette or claiming my drink in my plastic cup wasn’t water, when it was.…

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When Joy Seeps In

As Christians, we have access to something that sets us apart from all others: joy. I am not sure how to feel deep joy apart from knowing deep grace, the kind that Jesus made possible. That’s why I feel joy, the real kind, is reserved for believers. I know joy is real, that it’s a…

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