Is It Ok to "Pray for Your Future Spouse"?

A question that’s been rolling around over the past three days. Probably because I was in two back-to-back weddings this weekend, both conveniently located on a ranch 30 minutes from my hometown. I forget how beautiful hay bales are.

A lot goes into a wedding: save-the-dates, engagement photos, invitations, bridal showers, ribbon, centerpieces, daisies and roses and lilies, bridesmaid gifts, bridal party photos, slideshows, playlists, first dance, last dance, cake-cutting. A lot.

I’ve begun to wonder if we’re a little obsessed. These are traditions, I know, they’re important, I know, but they take over. And if you’re a girl who’s grown up in the evangelical church, the thought of “finding your husband” probably took over long before the wedding festivities did.

In middle school and high school I was encouraged by youth leaders to pray for my husband. I tried once. It seemed the cool thing to do. I prayed that my future husband, wherever he was and whatever he was doing, would have a good day. It felt so weird, I pretty much gave up after that.

Recently I’ve begun questioning whether we should encourage youth or single adults to do this. After all, how do you pray for someone when you don’t know their prayer requests or if they even exist? They might not. Since when is marriage the be all end all of life? I’ve definitely fallen into the thinking pattern that it is. True love is the point of it all, right? Maybe wrong. That is a very worldly concept when you look at Jesus’ life. And especially when you read Paul’s letter to the Corinthians. Marriage is more of a bonus than a goal. So praying about it before there’s a possibility it would happen is sort of like praying for a BMW.

I used to think Paul was crazy for suggesting we don’t marry. I assumed a girl had broken his heart and he was bitter. Now his suggestion is coming into focus. I’m starting to believe that loving someone on this earth with that eros kind of love is our way of crying out to God, longing to love Him in this way but feeling we can’t because he is not physically in our midst. In this sense, marriage is a symbolic and desperate thing we do.

I’m not Paul. I’m not saying we should all stop getting married and start evangelizing. You can definitely do both. But I will say sorry to you, my future husband, for I am not praying for you daily, or really ever. It just weirds me out. I hope you understand.


  1. brittanylassiter on March 21, 2011 at 10:35 am

    To answer your question, yes, I think it’s okay to pray for your future spouse but I think we have to be very leery of the manner in which our Christian culture often goes about praying for this (you mentioned Corinthians, verse 10:23 comes to mind, “everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial”). The pervading tone to prayers for a future spouse, in my experience, are often presumptuousness and entitlement, when truth be told none of us really knows if a spouse is in God’s plan for us. So, sure it’s okay to do so

    For me, for this area of life and other unknowns, I tend to take the approach of asking the Holy Spirit to intercede for me because I don’t know if marriage is part of God’s plan for me (in addition to also finding it weird to pray for someone I don’t even know, as you do). Mostly I do this because I want to be present to what is happening in my life right here & right now, for I’m only promised today.

  2. Carrie on March 21, 2011 at 12:00 pm

    Thank you for this. It ministered to me today in a deep way.

  3. Katie on March 21, 2011 at 12:06 pm

    I definitely think it’s ok to pray for your future spouse. After all, even if we don’t know their worries, concerns, daily routine, name, etc. God does. I don’t pray for my future husband daily but there are certain times when he is really on my heart.


  4. Hannah @ Running In Freedom on March 21, 2011 at 4:34 pm

    I’m right there with ya! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt like part of my job as a Christian woman was to get married and be a good Christian wife. Yes I believe if we do get married that is part of our “job”, but whose to say we have to? I’ve struggled between that desire of having a significant other and that desire is okay, but not when its getting in the way of being completely satisfied in Christ. I don’t know if I’ll get married, but either way its in God’s hands and I know that He knows what is best for me. Thanks for the great post!!

  5. Dylan on March 21, 2011 at 4:35 pm

    Great article, Andrea. So often Christians (including myself from time to time) contemplate our futures by thinking “Well, once I get married, then I’ll really know what to do with my life.”

    It’s probably not the wisest mindset…

    • Jake Cmelik on March 21, 2011 at 5:59 pm

      Suggested reading, Wild At Heart, by John Eldridge. I couldn’t agree more with you Dylan, and I think this book on the meaning of being a man is a brilliant (and down to earth) look at that, and many other things.

      • Dylan Malloch on March 27, 2011 at 4:46 pm

        Thanks Jake; I’ve read it and yes, it’s good. However, being an Australian I found it a little harder to relate to because of cultural differences. But good tip.

    • Mark Wilson on December 17, 2011 at 8:10 am

      Hi Dylan

      As a man our calling and vision for our life is the priority. Think about God and Adam. God let Adam exert authority over all the animals by letting Adam name them.

      It was only after that when God brought Eve to Adam. God then let Adam name Eve!! (I can hear the feminist in us all freaking out right now).

      But then God gave BOTH of them the calling TOGETHER. He didn’t give it only to Adam. But before He gave them their calling, He first taught Adam about headship.

      God bless you,

  6. Scotty McFarland on March 21, 2011 at 5:28 pm

    Thanks so much for this! I came across it via max’ twitter.. Some really cool thoughts here, as a single guy, i pray not so much that God would be with my future wife and allow her to have a great day, because, as you suggested, maybe she doesnt exist? what i do pray for though is that if im meant to be with someone, that God would direct my paths the the one who i can grow in the grace and knowledge of Him with her.. i really think God has it all under control 🙂


  7. marije on March 21, 2011 at 5:40 pm

    I agree, it feels just weird to me. I also think it’s an American thing mainly, I live in Europe and nobody has ever suggested it to me.
    I don’t know if I’ll get married, I don’t know God’s plan. Instead of praying for someone who may or may not exist, I’d rather pray for God’s will to happen.

    • Angela on March 22, 2011 at 2:17 am

      Sadly, Marije, this also happens in the Philippines. I remember when I was a young teenager, my teacher in a Christian school, told us to pray for our future “lifetime partrners,” while we were 13-14 years old. I didn’t, because I was focusing on loving God with all my heart, soul, mind, & strength and serving Him in school and youth groups. As I get older, I desire to get married, but I just surrender this aspect to God & continue to love God with all my heart, soul, mind, & strength by His grace and to serve Him in whatever task He leads. If He leads me to His designed partner for me, then I would like that partner to love God with all his heart, soul, mind, & strength.

      Thanks, Andrea for sharing this to us. I also got this from Max Lucado’s tweet.

  8. Belinda Ramos on March 21, 2011 at 5:42 pm

    Thank you for this article. As a graduate of a Christian college where the old adage, “A ring by spring, or your money back,” the question has been thoroughly massaged. I’ve accepted and rejected every thought under the sun and (Son). But, I come back to your same conclusions; marriage is not the end result of the life you’re supposed to live. I don’t think Paul (or Jesus for that matter) would advocate much for us spending time imagining the life we want to lead. The invitation is to give that up. I don’t know who’s read these words, “Not my will, but Yours…” but I have and they are a little bit sour, but sweet. Hope for marriage is okay, but using my faith to believe that life will “work out” for me is pretty much the BMW request. I am okay with loosing my life and my ideas of it. I am more okay with that in light of what is happening in Japan right now. I wake up each day in my warm bed and I eat at my discretion, etc. What makes me think that the perks of life- aside from the abundant life Jesus provides- is a guarantee for me? “Faith is the substance of things hoped for and certainty of what we do not see.” I feel like that force is trivialized and I don’t think this passage ever included “my future husband.”
    I sound jaded…I’m really not. I feel free knowing that my life will be fruitful with or without a husband. Besides, tomorrow is not promised to anyone. 🙂

    Thank you Andrea!

  9. Jake Cmelik on March 21, 2011 at 5:46 pm

    As a youth pastor in western Oregon, this particular subject is one I’m faced with regularly. I’m currently engaged to a wonderful woman who brings great joy, peace, and a beautiful reflection of the love of Christ into my life. The message and focus I consistently try to relate to young people, is that more important than praying for your “future spouse”, is to pray for your vocation. God has a special plan for each and everyone of us, and discerning this plan is greatly important.

    Right now, you may be called to be the best student, employee, son, daughter, brother, or sister you can be. Down the road, you may be called to be the best husband or wife you can be also, or you may be called to something else entirely. We lose nothing and gain much by praying for strength to carry out our daily vocations as christian people that are unique to each individual. The same goes for praying for guidance and clarity for the unique journey God has in store for each of us, and for the grace to trust in His will.

    Each of us is called to spread the love of Christ to all we encounter. Marriage and raising a family is a beautiful way of doing this that I believe many (if not most) are called to. However, many (or even most) does not mean all. For some, God has a different path, and other ways to glorify Him with our lives. At the end of the day, if we approach each day and each decision as an opportunity to glorify God, and live our faith out loud, He will bless us abundantly.

    • Jaci on March 22, 2011 at 6:11 am

      A wise priest once told me that if you put God at the center of your life, everything else will fall into place. Scripture says: “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all else shall be added unto you.” I feel like this sums up pretty accurately of what our focus should be on, especially in prayer. When we focus on Christ, as we come to understand ourselves better in relationship to him, our hearts are formed to his, and he will show us our hearts. As the same wise priest also told me, when we discover our hearts, there our vocation will be. While we should pray for our future vocations (whether another person or a religious order for instance), it is important to have our hearts open and to be flexible to the movement of the Holy Spirit, which is only possible through a relationship with Jesus Christ.

  10. Reagan on March 21, 2011 at 5:51 pm

    My mom has always encouraged me to pray for my future husband and though I don’t do it all the time I do from time to time when it’s on my mind. My mother not only encourages me to do this but to also pray for my children and the lives they will have and the encounters they will have with others. She does this all the time probably since I was a child. Even though I don’t know my future husbands needs or if I’ll ever get married praying for them will never hurt…I mean prayers aren’t just for the present. 🙂

  11. Julie on March 21, 2011 at 6:22 pm

    Just found your blog and have been doing a little after-work reading. I couldn’t let this post go by without a comment because I feel exactly the same way. It’s not that I’ve given up – although if you’d ask my family, they’d say I probably had – but it’s more that I’m content with who and where I am. God knows the desires of my heart, and He knows that, yes, I would like to be married, but He also knows what’s best for me and whether marriage is what’s best for me is up to Him. My focus now? Praying that I’m always in His will, and then if it is His will, that He would bless me with those desires and that I wouldn’t screw it up. 🙂

  12. Abby on March 21, 2011 at 7:01 pm

    I am a college student who has grown up in the church my whole life and dealt with this strong desire to be married, yet struggled, wanting Jesus to be my greatest passion and fulfillment. I daily fight this emotion, asking Jesus to satisfy me, while I wait for the right guy to come, yet to give me joy if that is not His best. I have wandered many times if its ok to pray for my husband, or even what to pray.
    Last summer, after my first-ever, one month long dating relationship ended, I was talking to Jesus one day about my pain. He spoke to me and said, “Every time you feel that pain, ask ME to pursue you.” I began to fall in love with Jesus. I realized that HE is the great pursuer. When He came to earth as a baby, humbling himself, He stepped into our pain. He made this longing inside of us for a purpose. I am learning to lay it at His feet. I would encourage us singles, don’t ignore the desire or try to stifle it. Talk to Jesus about it. Nomatter if we get married or not, if we don’t get satisfied with Him now, our future relationships will have holes in them. Finding Him now as our King, father, friend, and even lover, is a win-win situation for whatever comes in the future.
    I do disagree about one thing. I think most people are made to be married. In Genesis 2:18 The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” I think a Godly marriage is good and displays His glory. It refines character and lets us know God better. I would challenge us to think about it and look up other scriptures about it.
    2 good sermons I found helpful I agree with alot of this, but still search it for yourself:
    God’s Most amazing creation- by kris Vallotton (Bethel)
    Governing your Power to Choose-Jonathan Gulley (Antioch Weaton)

  13. Top Posts — on March 21, 2011 at 7:17 pm

    […] Is It Ok to “Pray for Your Future Spouse”? A question that’s been rolling around over the past three days. Probably because I was in two back-to-back weddings […] […]

  14. Julie L on March 21, 2011 at 7:45 pm

    Thank you! I’d love to get married, but i really don’t know if i ever will, and i am ok with that (or at least, more ok with that than i used to be.)
    Friends have told me “Oh, there’s a guy out there for you,” and it’s very well-meaning and nice of them…but they don’t really know if that’s true or not. Only God does.
    And i think my time is not best spent moping about not having a guy.

  15. Olivia on March 21, 2011 at 9:26 pm

    I started praying for my future husband at age 12 and I did so off and on for many years. My husband was saved the year I started praying. That’s when I realized my prayer had nothing to do with me and everything to do with him. God has seen into your future and knows who your spouse is and I believe He’s good enough to make it clear if you aren’t supposed to marry, so “if” shouldn’t even be in the table. You could be the only person praying for that person’s salvation, so its really one of the most self sacrificing thing you can do…which will in turn prepare you for marriage.

  16. Meghan on March 21, 2011 at 9:37 pm

    I like this article; it’s refreshing! I certainly don’t think praying for your future spouse is a black/white matter. But I like your comment: “love is our way of crying out to God, longing to love Him in this way but feeling we can’t because he is not physically in our midst. In this sense, marriage is a symbolic and desperate thing we do.”

    I think it can be ok to pray for your future spouse, but I personally don’t do it much. I find myself asking the very same questions you do; wait, what if I’m not called to marriage? It seems that it’s not that it’s wrong to pray for that person with the idea that he or she may or may not come into your life, but it’s certainly wrong to make assumptions about God’s plan for your life because your desires for His love have been set on a temporal and ultimately insufficient human relationship. This is just another “god” to be overcome in my opinion.

  17. Shellybell on March 21, 2011 at 9:53 pm

    I prayed for him yesterday. I think I have done it 4 times in my entire life, but yesterday was one of those times. 🙂 Kind of funny…

    You know me, I can go round and round and then round again on this subject.

    At the end of the day, God made us to desire relationships, to desire a spouse even…how else would the earth be populated…I used to beat myself up about desiring that love, but God created us with it. He has a plan in that relationship, but you are certainly right…it is not the end all be all.

    Some experience it and some don’t.

    Right now, frankly, my life rocks and God has shown me the great pleasures of single-dom, and it would be very hard for me to ever risk the good thing He and I have going on right now. He would have to be REALLY tall, dark and handsome. 😉

    Love what you write! Instead of praying for him tonight, I’ll pray for you…for your sweet and insightful heart.

  18. Kimberly Houston on March 21, 2011 at 10:31 pm

    My sister, as a young lady who spent a lot of years idolizing marriage, and searching on a mad hunt for the “right guy,” I honor your question about the “rightness” of praying for a spouse. I want to encourage you by saying that success in every and any relationship whether marriage, friendship, or even co-worker hood works best when you are complete, and content in and with the Love of Christ. Therefore whether or not it is God’s will for you to be married, the goal of learning to be content and accepting your completion that was paid for at Calvary and walking in it each day is the goal for all of us who call on His name. Now that I have gotten that out of the way, I want to encourage you that the Lord says that if you, “delight thyself in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalms 37:4) and therefore if you find that the sincere desire of your heart is to one day be a wife that is ok. And as you go through life and the Lord shows you yourself, and the plans He has for your life and future, there’s nothing wrong with praying that the man God brings to you complements that. You do not have to know someone to pray for them because as Christians, there are certain characteristics that the Lord expects to be common among us all who belong to Him, so just a prayer that the unknown “he” be strengthened in those areas are enough (i.e. walking in the Fruit of the Spirit according to Galatians 5:21-23, or even presenting his body as a living sacrifice Holy and acceptable unto God according to Romans 12:1) , not to mention that you don’t know him, but God does, and the Word says that when we pray the Holy Spirit makes intercession for us when we don’t know what to pray. (Romans 8:26) So in conclusion, don’t become so consumed that you waste the time God is allocating to sharpening your gifts and person, but ever so often, it’s ok, to hold Him up in the Spirit realm, you’ll be the one to reap the benefit when he is presented to you! Much Love and success!!

  19. Rick C on March 21, 2011 at 10:58 pm

    My heart deeply aches for friends and family whose marriages, over the years, have ended in divorce. Maybe they should have spent time in prayer regarding their future spouse! Among other benefits sincere/thoughtful/tuned-in prayer definitely would have sharpened their “marriage/relationship IQ” and their God quotient both of which are maturely needed in marriage!

    I pray for my future mate constantly, she needs it and I need it.

  20. Tamera Alexander on March 21, 2011 at 10:58 pm

    Great thoughts, Andrea. Twenty-six plus years ago, before I was married, I remember picking up a book entitled God Loves the Single Too. But I never made it past the author’s dedication: To my lovely wife Sue without whom this book could not have been written.

    All righty then! 😉

    A while back, Lloyd, one of the ministers at FBC here in Nashville, gave what I thought was some great advice for those “seeking” or “contemplating” marriage. I don’t think it was original to him, but he basically said to run for Jesus for all you’re worth, seeking God’s will in your life with your whole heart, and if you happen to glimpse someone running beside you that makes you look twice, then by all means…look! But if not, keep running.

    I pray for my children’s future spouses. Not every day. But often. But without fail, I pray everyday for Kelsey & Kurt to be centered in the middle of God’s will for their lives, whatever that brings. Because it doesn’t get any better than that. Married, or not.

  21. luvmyaka on March 21, 2011 at 11:21 pm

    I have never been married but after a horrible relationship, I had deleted the idea of marriage from my thought process. I felt like I never wanted to give my heart to anyone to be hurt again. Now being out of the relationship and strengthening my relationship with God, I can definitely entertain the possibility of being married in the future. Though, I don’t pray for my future mate, I feel like I am constantly preparing myself for whatever God has planned for me. “He that findeth a wife, findeth a good thing and favor from God.” I am almost ready to be find, so as I wait, I will continue to progress.

  22. gailcav on March 22, 2011 at 9:07 am

    This is a great question. While getting married may be God’s plan for us, we can be serving God while we are waiting. I had been serving God several years ago in a ministry in the inner city when a Christian man started to show interest in me. Soon after we met, he expressed a desire to wed. I thought this was very odd, because up until that point, no one was ever interested in marrying me. I declined the offer because I enjoyed my life the way it was and I wanted to continue serving the Lord.

    There is a good book on this topic, “Secrets of an Irresistible Woman” by Michelle Kinney Hammond. She shares her story of dating men versus serving the Lord instead. The Lord teaches to “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness ans all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33. Marriage can be a wonderful thing, but at the right time.

    Great blog!

  23. JoeMac on March 22, 2011 at 9:24 am

    For me, I know that I have deep desires for a future wife. It’s one of my greatest desires. But lately, I’ve come to place where I’ve been looking into the reasons for why I desire her so much. I think the real question is (because we all have the desires, that’s no question), why do we desire these things so much? Are they for our gain, or for HIS Glory? Is it my flesh, or is it a GOD-given desire? If our desires are truly set into the right context (if we truly focus them on GOD and HIS Will) then in the end, we’ll be satisfied with whatever the outcome, because our desires will be HIS. And for all our groaning and aching in longing for our future spouses, GOD will turn those around for our good regardless of if it’s the good that we thought it would be or something totally different. Let us focus our desires into the one who gave them to us. He can take, shape, and mold them. For all my longing, what can a girl that I don’t even know exists, do? My desires don’t belong in her. They belong in GOD!

    • andrealucado on March 27, 2011 at 4:13 pm

      Thanks so much for your comment. That’s a very good point that our desires don’t belong in her/him. I like that.

  24. Natalie on March 22, 2011 at 10:51 am

    The Bible tells us to pray without ceasing. As long as you’re not using prayer as rubbing the genie’s lamp, I think it’s very wise to pray for whatever God’s will be. I think it’s safe to say God understands our desire for love, as long as we are not using it instead of our love for Him. This doesn’t just go for young, single people who have never been married. My dad died 6 years ago, of course leaving my mom a widow. She is angry and bitter that God took her “love life” and has not replaced it. Sadly, she feels rejected by God…when His love is there all along. Another scenario: my husband walked out 6 months ago. I’m 25 with two small children. I pray for my husband daily for his finding of Christ and his return. But more importantly, I have found that romance with Jesus that I never had before. I have that longing for him. Right now my husband and I are “dating,” but I know that even if he decides to completely leave in the end, God is still the God of the universe.

    Dont be discouraged from praying for your future spouse. You may not have to go into the specifics, but pray for God’s guidance and that if it is God’s will, that he be a godly man.

  25. blackwatertown on March 22, 2011 at 1:10 pm

    Don’t think this praying for future spouse is a good idea at all – unless you actually know the person. Surely they can be included in your more general prayer requests for humanity?

  26. Carlos Lopez on March 22, 2011 at 10:29 pm

    That`s a good question and something inside of me thinks that we should, or maybe, we must pray for the unknown person…
    I always used to pray for my past relationships, when I liked somebody I started praying and asking God to guide me, because I don`t want to spend (or waste) everything (heart, time, feelings, dream, money, etc) with the wrong person. It´s a decision I´m not wasting myself anymore.
    But then after a couple of “wrong girls” I dated and prayed for, doing everything in the right way, those were mistakes, and it hurts always.
    The last time, after the last deception 3 years ago I said to God, Ok, I wont pray again for this, next time I´ll be less spiritual and more smart and sentimental. Am I wrong?, I dont know, just sometimes we were taught that we must be spirituals because is an important decision (and off course it is), but this is a personal decision, and God respect us and give us light in our way… And now He knows that I wont pray too much about that, my heart and my intelligence will help me a lot!.
    Now you need to ask, the same question with the plus “when you´re a leader in a church or ministry…” Just to make it more complicated! hahaha.
    Very good topic!.
    Peace and blessings!.

  27. Jake Cmelik on March 23, 2011 at 3:21 pm

    I left a post here a day or two ago, and since then I’ve seen a whirlwind of comments flowing forth (including a couple friends of mine). One common theme worth contemplation is the idea of “One Specific Person” that God has for us. I don’t believe that for one moment. Our vocation is a choice, to be single is a choice, just as marriage (and who we marry) is a choice. I don’t believe for one instant that God “predestines” us to be with one person, and if we miss that one, we’re just left out to dry. That flies in the face of free will.

    Again, I’m engaged to a wonderful woman, and I couldn’t be happier. I’ve had relationships before that were hard, and others that were wonderful, but none that I would choose to end in marriage, until now.

    Furthermore, I’d like to affirm the idea of centering oneself on Christ being the most important factor. We as people are not meant to be alone, we are meant to live in communion with Christ and with each other, but we’ll never be ready for Marriage if we’re not ready for relationship with Christ. With that, I offer a simple prayer to the masses who are discerning…”Lord, make Your most perfect will, the desire of my heart.” When seeking guidance and direction in life (and even prayer), this is where to start, aligning our desires with His will. Matt. 7:7

    Thanks for the topic Andrea, I also found this via Max’s tweet!

    • Meghan on March 27, 2011 at 3:59 pm

      OHHHH jake jake jake. haha disagree with you brother :). I believe God has one person…if a vocation is a call, it is a call to something. If God calls us to marriage, He doesn’t call us to it at random. How can marriage be a call initiated by God to two people but those two people choose each other without providential guidance? Just because you believe God has someone out there for you doesn’t mean you agree with pre-destination…and that’s not to say everyone answers the call. Certainly sometimes we do not…but a vocation cannot be a call and a random choice simultaneously, and the Church teaches that it is not our choosing but simply a response to a plan designed by our omnipotent God.

      • andrealucado on March 27, 2011 at 4:22 pm

        Jake and Meghan, thanks for your comments. People really have opinions about this topic 🙂 I agree with you both and think you probably agree with each other. There is not one perfect person for everyone. We are compatible to be with lots of different people, but timing is everything, right?

      • Carlos Lopez on March 28, 2011 at 2:19 pm

        Ohh, MEGAN, I totally disagree with you, and I agree with JAKE.

        Let´s pretend that God have a person (just one specific person for you and for me and all of us), but then I did something wrong, took the wrong decision and I marry the wrong girl!!!. Then my mistake will do a big mess, because my supposed girl have to marry another wrong person, and then the perfect one for the girl that I married will marry with another wrong girl, and again with the next couple like a chain reaction.

        I think (And probably I´m wrong) that God has a “type” of person for you, and you can probably know that person in High School, but you were not ready to get married, then you find another person in the church, but then you just didn´t realize, so you will find another “your type” of person on your office, or in a coffee shop, or through a friend until you are ready and decide to do it… What do you think?.

        Then we can start talking about predestination and I dont want to go that way… there are many book written about that topic.

        But… God knows what we want, and as close we are to him, the closer our desire will be like the very best desire/option he can make for us, then we will find our desire completely fulfilled by somebody who we deeply like and who also is His perfect will. When we are close to him, is easy to feel pleasant and enjoyable his desires for us, as if He has predestinated them. What do you think Andrea (BTW, I found this also by Max Luc Twiiter.

  28. Adrienne on March 26, 2011 at 4:18 pm

    Good thoughts.

    I can say from my experience, praying for my future husband always made me feel close to the Lord. I knew if he didn’t want me to get married, he would stifle the deepest desire of my heart, and until then…. I chose to pray.

    When I was frustrated, lonely or baffled by the seemingly obsolete number of quality Christian guys, I would pray for my future husband. Something about praying made me feel that God cared and it helped me feel assured He wasn’t forgetting.

    You could call that faithless, and I wouldn’t disagree, but it was also intimacy with my heavenly father. Intimacy that pacified all other negative emotions and took my focus off an ‘end all be all ‘and on to a greater plan for my life.

    I don’t think it matters…God’s sovereignty will prepare our husband regardless of our prayers. If no husband exists, then God’s sovereignty is beyond our understanding and I don’t believe anything is wrong with that!

  29. Chris Plekenpol on March 27, 2011 at 11:00 pm

    Hey Andrea,

    I just replied to your blog on my blog. 🙂 Would love to hear your thoughts on it.

    love reading your stuff by the way. I would say you are talented enough to have your own book in your own right. Seriously. Maybe even a book about this very topic here.

    Adrienne says howdy.

    • andrealucado on March 28, 2011 at 1:11 pm

      Thanks, Chris! I just read it and am going over to comment now 🙂
      I’m glad to know you have a blog! And thanks for your kind words.
      Tell Adrienne howdy back.

    • andrealucado on March 28, 2011 at 5:10 pm

      Well, I can’t get my comment to post on your blog for some reason so I’ll comment on your blog here and hope you see it:

      Chris, great post and thoughts. I have to admit I was nervous when I read the first sentence because I’ve never had anyone write a post in response to one of mine (not that I know of, at least)This blogosphere conversing is kinda new to me 🙂
      Anyways, I loved your transparency and agree it’s important to realize we weren’t meant to live alone. I guess there is that whole Adam and Eve thing.
      I think what God has been driving home in me lately is that I’ve really idolized marriage in my thoughts, and He finally yelled at me (I mean, almost literally yelled)that marriage is not the POINT of life nor is it even a type of climax in our stories; He is. It’s a lesson I didn’t realize I needed to learn until recently and writing it down in my blog helped me begin to formulate my thoughts on the whole thing.

      And you should know, I’m REALLY glad you prayed about Adrienne, and I know she prayed hard about you. And look how it all worked out 🙂

  30. […] Age are You Grown Up? Asking the hard questions has resulted in some heavy posts. See here, here, and here. We all need to take a deep breath, through the nose out through the mouth. Heavy posts […]

  31. […] Spring I read a post on Andrea Lucado’s Blog where she compared praying for a future spouse to praying for a BMW. At first this comparison made […]

  32. John Vincent Damot on October 27, 2016 at 9:13 pm

    Is it okay to pray your future wife with a specific name?

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